Ever since school has ended it has been hard trying to find the motivation to pick up my camera. This past school year took everything out of me. Art is hard. It's fun and rewarding and I don’t think there is anything else in this world I would rather do than create. But that does not make it easy. When it flows it flows. But sometimes it feels like nothing is left. I feel empty without it. But I guess that's just part of my process. And I am trying to work with it. When I have those spurts of inspiration and I am creating, I feel so alive and that’s what I am holding onto. So recently I’ve opted for a lot of other mediums and tools to help me create instead of my camera. As I have mentioned before, collages have always been something I enjoy because it is a way for me to display my messy thoughts.
A lot of thoughts went through my head while making this little 5x5. I use to have this obsession with space and the stars. I just wanted to be in space. I wanted to be higher than the sun and never come down. I wanted to be away from everything. I didn't like who I was and I didn't like the way I let other people control so many things about me. Often, the earth felt too much to handle.
I still obsess over space, but I just want to be in space because I need to rest. Like a break, but more than a vacation you know? Sometimes I want to be away from my mind and turn my thoughts off. I want an out of body—out of this world break. Eventually to come back down to life and just get back into my days. I have the tools and mechanism to understand earth a little more and for that I am thankful. I am finding reason and purpose. Life is moving forward and I am ready for whichever direction it takes.
I am a shy traveller. I am independent. My shine seems low, most people miss it, but it is there. It is perpetual.
To all the scientist in my life. I am glad I have delighted you. I am glad you didn’t give up on me. I am thankful you are here. I am thankful you are patient.